Original s.o.c. freeverse: Precipice
Jul. 28th, 2004 02:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
soraciaTitle: Precipice
Author: Kagemihari
Archive: MYSTCommunity.com
Disclaimer: this is an original work. no references were intended to any other published work or writing.
Rating: PG
Warnings: very abstract, dark, weirdness, depression, s.o.c., confusing POV
Notes: this was, eh, a stream of consciousness thing I wrote awhile back, and I wasn't even actually that depressed at the time, but it certainly reflects my mood at other times. not referring to suicide, actually, but just giving in to a mental and emotional breakdown. Italics represent one point of view, non-italics another side.
Precipice
Darkness. Fear. I am falling.
I lean over the edge and watch myself fall, into the smoldering pit, to the unknown, into terror.
I look up as I fall, meeting my eyes, my horror reflected there.
Hopeless, helpless--yet from above I extend my hand, a gesture of despair.
Falling, I see the outstretched hand, almost out of reach. Too little, too late, perhaps, and yet...It is all I have. At the last moment I fling up my arms, straining to reach my anchor.
My hand touches, grabbing me blindly as the only hope, the only thing I can find to hold on to, but threatening to drag me too from my stable ground.
I cling desperately to the hand I have managed to grasp, just barely hanging on. I hang suspended, still about to fall, if I cannot pull myself to safety.
I am stretched, torn between opposing forces; secure in the place where I lie, yet soon my own weight will take me down past any hope of rescue.
But I could just let go...With an effort, holding tightly to both myself and my security, I strain against the inexorable, and slowly drag myself back up out of the endless darkness.
I lay exhausted on the ground, on the safe ground again, and wonder why. Why does it always come to this? Why is it always at the last moment I decide to save myself? Will I always depend upon that part of me that passes judgment on myself?
I wonder why it always comes to this. I must save that part of me that I despise, that I wish I could live without...Next time, maybe--I'll let myself fall.
© Kagemihari nov 16 2002
Author: Kagemihari
Archive: MYSTCommunity.com
Disclaimer: this is an original work. no references were intended to any other published work or writing.
Rating: PG
Warnings: very abstract, dark, weirdness, depression, s.o.c., confusing POV
Notes: this was, eh, a stream of consciousness thing I wrote awhile back, and I wasn't even actually that depressed at the time, but it certainly reflects my mood at other times. not referring to suicide, actually, but just giving in to a mental and emotional breakdown. Italics represent one point of view, non-italics another side.
Precipice
Darkness. Fear. I am falling.
I lean over the edge and watch myself fall, into the smoldering pit, to the unknown, into terror.
I look up as I fall, meeting my eyes, my horror reflected there.
Hopeless, helpless--yet from above I extend my hand, a gesture of despair.
Falling, I see the outstretched hand, almost out of reach. Too little, too late, perhaps, and yet...It is all I have. At the last moment I fling up my arms, straining to reach my anchor.
My hand touches, grabbing me blindly as the only hope, the only thing I can find to hold on to, but threatening to drag me too from my stable ground.
I cling desperately to the hand I have managed to grasp, just barely hanging on. I hang suspended, still about to fall, if I cannot pull myself to safety.
I am stretched, torn between opposing forces; secure in the place where I lie, yet soon my own weight will take me down past any hope of rescue.
But I could just let go...With an effort, holding tightly to both myself and my security, I strain against the inexorable, and slowly drag myself back up out of the endless darkness.
I lay exhausted on the ground, on the safe ground again, and wonder why. Why does it always come to this? Why is it always at the last moment I decide to save myself? Will I always depend upon that part of me that passes judgment on myself?
I wonder why it always comes to this. I must save that part of me that I despise, that I wish I could live without...Next time, maybe--I'll let myself fall.
© Kagemihari nov 16 2002
