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soraciaTitle: Stille Nacht
Author: Kagemihari
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Koyasu Takehito and Project Weiss. Not me.
Rating: NC17
Warnings: PWP, lemon, swearing, a little bit of sap, sort of, and possibly some OOCness.
Summary: YxA smut and sap PWP...really, absolutely no plot. After a mission, Yohji helps Aya with an injury, and they give in to their mutual attraction.
~Stille Nacht~
1: Silent Night
Ran sat stiffly on the edge of the bathtub, his muscles trembling slightly with shock and fatigue. It had been a bad mission. Not a total disaster, but bad. The planning of it had been fucked up, somehow missing some key details, and things had gotten messy. He hadn't been able to completely salvage the mess, and it was hurting his pride. Technically, it was probably not his fault. Logically, there was nothing he could have done. Mentally, however, he was the leader of Weiss, and this was his fault. They had gotten in and gotten their target, but getting out had proved to be more difficult. They had gotten out, but not without new scars.
The graze on his arm from a bullet was not too deep nor too serious, but it had bled profusely, leaving him a bit light-headed, and he had been unable to care for it himself. Which is why he was sitting here letting Yohji patch him up, and trying not to let his mind wander. He was tired, he was sore, his defenses were way down, and if he let himself think too much about the hard, sexy body of the man standing next to him he was going to have a serious problem. It didn't help that Yohji was already partially undressed for bed, and was not wearing a shirt. Ran could smell the fresh clean scent of his skin after the shower he'd taken.
He'd been attracted to the man from almost the first time he saw him, way back on that first day. The tall, slim blonde man had immediately caught his attention, and while he had initially dismissed him as shallow and foolish, he had learned otherwise very quickly. That playboy image hid a razor sharp mind, and the lazy determination of a practiced hunter. Yohji didn't remind him of a cat so much as a tiger, sleek and elegant, and oh so smooth. God he was hot, long and lanky and firmly muscled, with a tantalizing sense of coiled power. The man practically radiated sex, and he was not shy about advertising it.
Ran focused determinedly on the cold grey tile of the bathroom floor. Think unsexy thoughts, not...oh god.
Having finished with his arm, Yohji was now running his hands lightly over Ran's body, searching for other wounds. The gentle, searching touch felt like traces of fire, and immediately whatever small success he was having keeping his mind out of the gutter vanished like smoke on the wind. It had been a long time, and he wanted this so bad... He tensed, trying to stay in control. Trying to fight back the reaction he was having to the other man's nearness and the gentle fingers on his skin.
It wasn't working. He could feel himself hardening just sitting here and he couldn't keep his mind off what it would be like to have that firm hard body pressed up against him. To have the slender fingers finding all his sensitive spots, the teasing mouth hot and slick on his, tasting his lips, his tongue, his throat. What it would be like to explore Yohji's smooth white skin with his own fingers and tongue, to make him moan, to tease him and taste him and make him lose control. To lie beneath him and get fucked good and hard...He suppressed a groan. No, no, no, he was so not going to do this.
Apparently satisfied that Ran had no further injuries to his upper body, Yohji placed a hand on his knee as he started to look over the rest of him. The tension in Ran's body intensified until it was nearly unbearable, and he went rigid with the effort it took to not just jump him right there.
Yohji frowned, thinking he had hit a sore spot, then went still himself as he saw the all too obvious erection that strained the tight pants Ran had worn that evening. For a long second he didn't move, then his gaze flicked up to Ran's face.
"Aya?"
His gaze was questioning, surprised--shocked even--but he didn't look offended. Ran looked back at him steadily, the cold mask firmly in place, wondering how to respond. Should he apologize? No. 'What is there to apologize for?' It was just a natural reaction to the touch and presence of a highly attractive man.
Hell, the man ought to be flattered at least, even if he was straight. Which he was, that much everybody knew. Yohji made no secret of his lifestyle, and it was all about women. That being the main reason Ran had never tried to act on this attraction before.
That, and the fact that...well, he was Fujimiya Aya, who lived for vengeance and nothing else. Aya didn't do apologies. And who would believe that he, the icy, silent leader of Weiss who was cold and aloof and didn't need anybody, found his outgoing teammate sexually attractive?
And then, too, it could very easily get out of control. It wasn't wise, getting mixed up with someone you worked with. Even if you lived with them as well, even if it was only casual sex and not a serious relationship, still....it wasn't a smart idea. Too dangerous, getting too close...
Sunk in his thoughts, Ran barely registered the fact as Yohji got to his feet and stood looking at him for a moment, unmoving--then gradually he realized that it gave him a clear view of the telltale bulge in his pants. Yohji was as turned on as he was right now. Shocked, Ran's eyes met the green gaze again, this time in confusion. 'What the hell?'
Yohji shrugged, a faint, deprecating smile on his face; he wasn't going to explain. He reached out, slowly, as if Ran might disappear on him if he wasn't careful, and touched his cheek, brushing back a strand of crimson, then resting his hand gently against the side of Ran's head. Tilting his head to one side, he studied Ran's face, one eyebrow raised in wary speculation.
What...are you...? Ran couldn't put words to that searching expression; there were so many things encompassed there, so many questions, so many possible explanations...tension vibrated in the air between them as if some invisible cord were suddenly stretched tight, drawing them together, and yet...
He felt his chest seize with the sudden conflicting emotions; so much potential was shimmering in this one moment, fraught with both desperate desire and dread, there was so much here that could go horribly wrong--or impossibly, incredibly right--and there was but a thin knife blade of chance between the two. His first, instinctive reaction was jerk away from the gentle, almost tender touch, to put up a protecting front of cold indifference, even anger, and reassert his defenses....but he was caught, held breathless by the look in those green eyes that he couldn't quite read.
"You know what I want?" Yohji asked him softly, still searching his face for something, and he was so close... Ran was fairly sure it was a rhetorical question, and even if it wasn't, there was no way in hell he was going to manage speech at this point. His body was still stiff and his jaw clamped shut, and Yohji was so damn close....
He hoped the man wasn't expecting any sort of response other than a brief shiver, because that was as much as Ran was capable of right now. What did Yohji want? Ran knew what he wanted, and if it was the same thing--ye gods, what a question.... he shivered again.
He had no idea what was showing on his face or in his eyes--maybe the sudden surge of fear and desire, and something like hope--but whatever was must have given Yohji the clue he was looking for, because his expression softened and a gleam appeared in his eyes as he gave Ran that lazy smile. That smile...god...it was like he was melting, both from the sheer heat on the surface of his skin, and from someplace deep inside. He felt dazed, as if he were standing in the sun and it was too hot, too bright, overwhelming him with light and heat.
Yohji leaned down, putting his head on a level with Ran's, speaking next to his ear as he answered his own question. "I want to fuck you," he whispered, his voice low and sensual. The warm breath on his ear made his skin prickle with feverish chill; the sound thrilled through Ran's entire body, something like lightning racing through his veins, setting every nerve on fire. His eyes widened slightly and he looked away, his mouth tightening, fighting for control. His pants were now painfully tight, his groin throbbing fiercely at the unexpected words. He wanted this so bad.
His common sense was trying to kick in, though, now that Yohji was really responding to him--taking the lead actually. It set off little warnings in his mind that this was too much, too fast, and someone was going to get hurt. But...he struggled to think past the blood roaring in his ears.
The green eyes resting on him were almost amused, and Yohji definitely knew what he was doing, what he was getting into. What he was asking for. Shit, it didn't get any more blunt than that.
And god, he wanted it, and if Yohji was just going to give it to him, well...hell yeah.
~*~
Yohji waited, watching, disappointment washing through him. He'd finally gotten the sexy redhead to notice him, and his chance was going to slip away after all...but he refused to force the issue. The only way he wanted this was with Aya's full participation, if Aya really wanted it, too, wanted him--or it was pointless.
If all he wanted was a good fuck, he could get that somewhere else. He wanted Aya. He'd known for a long time that his initial attraction to the icy man was turning, slowly but inevitably, into something more. How much more, he was not prepared to say, but he had come to genuinely like and respect the stiff, reserved swordsman. The flashes of fire and fierce loyalty he'd glimpsed beneath the cold exterior had only served to deepen his fascination.
Not to mention Aya was abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous. God what he wouldn't give, to touch him just once, to feel him respond with all that fire inside, to make him moan and plead and cry out with ecstasy, to bury himself deep inside that hot, tight ass...Aya had a beautiful ass. God...
He'd been reckless, he knew, seeing for once a chink in the armor, a flash of hope--seen desire for just an instant in those amazing eyes, before the cold mask fell again. That tiny bit of indication that maybe, just maybe, Aya wouldn't shoot him down--he'd reacted almost without thinking, pressing his advantage, exploiting a perceived weakness, going for the kill, so to speak--but suddenly he was afraid he'd gone too far. Damn that reckless streak; but he'd always trusted his instincts, and they told him that here, tonight, was his chance, that all it would take was a bit of a push and a show of confidence--well, he could do that, even if he was scared to death inside.
He wasn't going to beg though--at least, not out loud...Please, Aya, please, for once...give in, let go, let me - let me in...
Aya hadn't moved though, hadn't pulled away or got up and left, and he was at least thinking about it. Yohji held his breath and waited, hoping like crazy that he hadn't pushed too far, too fast, and ruined what might be his only chance. Hell, he knew it was his only chance. Aya's proud stubbornness alone, if nothing else, would never let Yohji get this close again if he turned him down tonight.
Finally Aya turned his head, meeting his eyes again. His face was unreadable, his strangely colored eyes dark with emotion or desire.
"Aya?" Yohji asked again, trying to keep the wistful note out of his voice.
"Ran," the sexy deep voice corrected him quietly. "My name is Ran." And Aya--Ran--nodded slightly at him, his expression intense, as if wanting to make sure Yohji understood how important this was.
He understood alright. He had always known that "Aya" wasn't his real name--it was a girl's name, for one thing, and it just didn't quite fit. But he had been well aware of the kind of things that might be hiding in the past that could make the man want to lose his name, and he wasn't about to pry. All of Weiss had thoroughly fucked up pasts to deal with, and he had no desire to bring Aya--Ran's--home to him or make him think about it any oftener than he must already. Still, part of him had always wondered, a trifle wistfully, what his real name was.
That Ran was telling him now, allowing him into that carefully guarded part of his life.... Yohji was suddenly horribly torn between wrapping the man in a tight embrace to soothe the painful memories it must have brought up, or dragging him off by the hair to fuck him now. He settled for leaning down and kissing him senseless, a long, slow, heated kiss full of promise and desire.
Gods, the man could kiss. He wondered distantly if Ran had ever been kissed before, and decided vaguely that it didn't matter. However he'd gotten to be so damn good at it, was really beside the point; Yohji was melting inside and his blood was running in his veins like liquid fire, and he was going to have trouble standing up here in a minute.
Actually, never mind standing, he was having trouble breathing, right now. He broke away with a groan, pulling an equally regretful moan from Ran and stood panting, trying to slow his racing heart. He leaned forward to rest his head against Ran's forehead, looking into his eyes, which were half-closed in pleasure and desire.
Ran smiled slowly, the most open and warm expression Yohji had ever seen on his face, and this one was definitely teasing, no, make that enticing and seductive. He hadn't know Aya could look like that--it was fucking weird; but god it was hot. In fact, it was sexy as hell. He shrugged off the sensation of strangeness and gave himself up to it. He licked his lips, watching that sexy smile and wondering what Ran was up to.
"So, fuck me, then," Ran whispered, and the low purr of his voice vibrated through Yohji's system like a runaway train, emotion and desire and a thrill of triumph crashing over him in a cacophony of raw need. He could tell by smirk on Ran's face that this had been the intention. 'Holy fucking shit.'
Oh, fuck yeah. He growled possessively, and dragged Ran to his feet, never loosening his grip for a second. He wasn't even sure he'd make it as far as the bed, but he was damn well going to try.
~*~
Ran wasn't sure what had possessed him to tell Yohji his real name, except that it seemed wrong somehow to be called by his sister's name in this moment of intimacy. His sister and his mission didn't have anything to do with this, this was his and his alone. For a moment he felt guilty, the promise that he'd made to her weighing heavily on him, threatening to crush his desire. But Yohji still had him held tightly by the wrist, then slipped an arm securely, possessively, around his waist as they made their way down the silent hall, and he wasn't sure Yohji was capable of stopping at this point.
He wasn't sure he was capable of stopping, either. He wanted it just as much as Yohji did, maybe more. He was suddenly and intensely aware of strength and power in the lean frame pressed against him, and the guilt faded away with barely a whisper as need came rushing back to fill him. His entire body hurt with it, with lust and longing and he wanted this so bad! Needed it, needed the strong hands all over his him, caressing and arousing and tender and fierce, needed the hot mouth to claim him and mark him and wash him clean, needed to be filled and pounded and taken, god....He shuddered. Needed it so bad.
He felt the answering shudder in the hard body at his side, their harsh breathing loud in the silence, knew that both of them were on the edge of taking this to the floor right here, right now--but no...they couldn't, that wasn't...a good idea...why?
Ah yes, the boys, Ken and Omi were sleeping, presumably, in their own rooms, and would be shocked and horrified if they were to come out and find their elders screwing like rabbits in the hall. No...they couldn't do that, attractive as the idea sounded.
"My room..." he heard his partner gasp breathlessly, "...s'closer."
An affirmative hiss from his own throat, nearly incapable of speech, and they changed direction, moving toward the door a few feet away, hands already fumbling at the restrictive clothing. They fell inside and managed, barely, not to slam the door behind them; then their legs gave out finally and they were on the floor, wrestling off the last of the clothing and clinging together as they shared a fierce, desperate, hungry kiss.
It was hot and needy and unbelievably sexy, and Ran knew they would never make it to the bed if they didn't get there right now. And with the part of his rational mind – a very small part, admittedly – that was still functioning, he decided that he didn't particularly want to get fucked into the hard cold floor. Not with the energy and enthusiasm Yohji was going to put into it, and he wanted that, god yes, wanted Yohji to fuck him hard, dammit!
With an effort he pulled them both to their feet, never breaking the kiss, and dragged the unprotesting Yohji over to the futon in the corner. They collapsed there with twin sighs of relief and passion – that same small, rational part of his mind noted that this was an odd combination. He told it pointedly to "shut up and fuck off!", and turned his entire concentration to making this the best damn night of his life.
They moved in silence by an unspoken agreement, something about the stillness of the night and the nearby sleepers seeming to demand it. The heat and friction of their bodies was intensified by the pressure of noiseless pleasure, the glint of teasing and amusement in both pairs of eyes as they tested each others limits. Moans, growls, and soft cries were muffled into hands, shoulders, sheets and pillows, and deep groans were swallowed into the hot cavernous depths of an open mouthed kiss.
There was lull at last, a brief respite, pausing to delay the inevitable while they rested against each other with merely brief, tender touches maintaining the mood. They both wanted this to last as long as possible. Without words, and avoiding it even in their thoughts, they knew this meant far too much to both of them to make it quick and dirty this first time.
No, it was more like...Ran shoved the thought away in a hurry, shying away from the vaguely threatening feeling. Not yet, he wasn't, they weren't, ready to deal with that yet. He let his eyes drift over the smooth toned skin of the man in his arms, noting appreciatively the marks he'd left on Yohji's chest and shoulders, and reached a hand to trail idly across his collarbone, and down the clearly defined muscles in his arm. Mine. He leaned up slightly, brushing the lightest of kisses at the hollow of Yohji's throat, and let his mouth follow the path his fingers had taken, tracing the collarbone, raining featherlight kisses on the soft skin.
~*~
Yohji shivered, and suppressed a moan as the heat rose in him like a tide of fire. The whispering touches were driving him mad. God, Ran was good at this. He must have done this before....Yohji didn't let himself think about that. It was none of his business, right? He had no reason to be jealous, it wasn't like Ran was his in the first place.
It wasn't like he wanted--ahh...He hissed as Ran's tongue found his nipple again, and he twisted his fingers more tightly in the soft red hair. He couldn't think, god, he could hardly breathe when Ran was doing that...oh fuck! That felt good...
He threw his head back and tossed it back and forth in his efforts to keep from moaning aloud, as Ran's hot wet mouth moved lower, his tongue languorously tracing Yohji's ribcage and the hard lines of his abdomen, dipping into his navel and then traveling sideways to find a sensitive spot on his hip. The sensations of heat and pleasure rippled through him, and he was losing it, losing his grip on himself and his reality. He could feel the long denied emotions surging up, desire and longing and fierce joy...
His hands rested now on Ran's hips and unconsciously his grip tightened; he was probably, no, certainly, leaving bruises on the pale skin but he didn't care. You're mine, all mine. His heart believed the possessive thoughts, though his mind knew it was too good to be true. But dammit all to hell...he wished it were. God, did he wish it were true. You belong to me now! I won't, I won't let you get away from me again. If only he could make sure of that....Goddamn you, Ran...
He thought there might be tears on his face, or maybe it was just sweat. They were both dripping with it, from heat and exertion and the heavy pressure of the silence, closing in on them. The only sounds were their ragged breathing and the soft brush of skin on skin, and faint thumps against the mattress.
Yohji grabbed Ran's shoulders and pushed him back firmly to lie flat, then leaned down to capture Ran's mouth again in a deep, desperate, possessive kiss. The answering kiss was just as hungry, just as fierce, and teeth clashed and lips were bit as the kiss became a small war. Ran broke away finally, pushing Yohji back insistently; his eyes were dark and smoldering, burning into Yohji with a demand that he recognized instantly. Fuck me already, dammit!
With pleasure. He grinned wolfishly and lunged forward, grinding his hips against his tall partner and pinning him to the bed. Normally at this point he would be talking, a bantering stream of dirty threats and enticing words, but tonight he simply smirked, letting his eyes speak for him. It appeared to be quite as effective; Ran's eyes were half-closed and shining with lust and annoyance, and he thrust his hips up against Yohji's in wordless frustration. Hurry up, you teasing bastard.
Funny how easy it was to communicate with Ran, even in silence. Yohji wondered if this strange connection worked as well in everyday life, if he would be able to look at Ran and see in his eyes what he was thinking, as clearly as if he had spoken aloud. Thinking back to the way they worked together on missions, he had to admit that they had done this type of thing already, many times before. Never this clearly or intensely, but it was that same feeling of knowing, that sense of certainty about the other man's thoughts and intentions. Strange that he had never noticed it before.
Ran growled deep in his throat, the barely audible sound interrupting his thoughts. It rumbled in his chest, making the air between them seem to vibrate and Yohji imagined he could feel it brushing his fevered skin. Impatient, are we? He paused, savoring for a moment the feeling of power it gave him to have such a proud, strong man utterly at his mercy and begging for his touch. He shook his head once, briefly, knowing Ran would get the message. My way. We do this my way tonight. Ran's eyes glittered up at him in wary annoyance, but he did not protest. Fine, just get on with it then!
~*~
Ran held back a frustrated sigh as Yohji rolled off him and sat up lazily, raising an eyebrow in polite disbelief. You want me to fuck you dry?
Not particularly, but Ran didn't know that he cared at this point...taking a minute to search for something to use for lube was a minute too long as far as he was concerned. There was a part of him that felt too, that the pain would somehow be penance for allowing himself this pleasure in the first place. He shook his head sharply. Just do it!
Yohji narrowed his eyes, irritated with this evidence of Ran's masochistic tendencies. Well, he was not going to be a part of that, no way. He threw a quick glance around as if hoping to be struck by inspiration. Finding nothing, he turned back and studied Ran briefly. A tiny wicked grin sparked on his face then, and Ran leaned on his elbows and eyed him warily. What?
Yohji reached out, still grinning devilishly, and took Ran's cock in his hand. He tilted his head, questioning. Ran snorted to himself, and shook his head in resignation. Fine, whatever. His skin was prickling all over with heat and anticipation, but he shot a glare at the blonde man, just for the sake of principle. Hurry up then, idiot.
The green eyes flashed with glee, and Yohji shifted himself to lie in front of Ran, lowering his head with a last gleam of triumph and licking teasingly at the head of his cock. Ran hissed sharply, grabbing fistfuls of the bedsheet as he remembered to stay silent. Damn you, Kudou... And Yohji proceeded to give him a very talented blowjob, his mouth hot and wet, and god, so right. Oh god, oh shit!
If he had still been able to think, he might have found it odd that a supposedly straight man was not only comfortable doing this, but apparently quite experienced as well. As it was, he was far past the point of any coherent thought.
His jaw clamped shut and his body shook with the effort of keeping quiet, and he could not refrain from thrusting helplessly, rising off the bed as he fucked that lovely mouth. Oh god, what a lovely mouth. Oh shit, oh shit....god...fuck!...oh, holy shit! Where did he learn how to do this? He breathed harshly through his nose, gritting his teeth and praying that he would be able to keep from screaming when he came.
He sensed his release building, and he knew he was going to come any minute. Before he could do anything to warn Yohji, the man raised his head, a feral grin on his face, and with a couple of quick, rough strokes with his hand, finished him off. Ran threw his head back, biting his lip savagely and his whole body tightened as the thick white cream shot out all over Yohji's hand and his own stomach. Unable to hold it in, Ran let out a long shuddering sigh that might have been a shout, but for the pressure of the silence; instead it was a ragged, staccato breath expelled harshly from his tense strung body.
He went limp finally and rested his head back on the pillow. Holy shit. And he still needed to be fucked. Needed to be filled and penetrated, needed to feel Yohji driving into him over and over. Damn bastard. He opened his eyes, and saw Yohji watching him thoughtfully. What was he waiting for? Well?
Yohji ignored him, raising his hand and calmly sticking out his tongue to taste the creamy whiteness. Ran's eyes widened in disbelief even as heat washed through his groin, the spent muscles tightening again. Yohji licked his hand briefly, like a cat, and swallowed consideringly. Then he licked his lips, green mischief dancing in his eyes as he looked at Ran. You taste good.
It was wicked and teasing and hot as all hell. Ran felt his groin tighten and he knew Yohji could see his desire written all over his face. He needed him, wanted him, wanted him inside him now. Hell, five minutes ago. Need you, need you, please, now...right now--shit... God, the man was annoying.
Enough! Ran glared at him, the 'shine!' death glare that he had perfected since he became an assassin. Fuck me now, you bastard, or I am going to kill you!
The green eyes glittered with amusement, and Yohji reached out deliberately to smear some of Ran's cum on his hand. He pushed two fingers into Ran's tight entrance, stretching him briefly. Frowning, he tilted his head. Relax, the green eyes said.
Ran sighed, leaned his head back again, and focused on relaxing the tension in his muscles. He took a deep breath, let it out, and was nearly ready for it when Yohji added a third slick finger. He was not ready for it when said three fingers wiggled and twisted, searching, then hit a spot that made him see stars. He went rigid, his back arching, writhing with ecstasy and the agony of silence. His already bloody lip stung as he bit down on it...damn Kudou! Oh god, he wished he had his katana handy. When he could breathe again he opened his eyes far enough to shoot a glare of pure hatred at the other man. You are going to pay for this, Kudou!
I know. Yohji smirked and withdrew his fingers, reaching up to clean the remaining seed off of Ran's stomach, gathering it up in his hand with meticulous care. His eyes, still fixed on Ran's, held a glint of affectionate amusement, and he reached down and slathered the creamy whiteness on his cock. There was brief heartbeat of motionless silence where Ran couldn't breathe; then in one smooth motion Yohji hooked his knee over his shoulder and thrust into him. Ran bit down on his bloody lip again until he could taste it, knew that it was trickling down his chin, and his fists tightened in the sheets as he arched his body up. Oh fuck, yeah! Finally....
~*~
Yohji held still for a moment, fully inside him, letting him adjust, but he could tell Ran was way past caring. The redhead wriggled in annoyance. Move, goddamn it! He raised his hips, trying to achieve more of that glorious friction. With a low sexy chuckle, Yohji gave in finally and began to move, pulling out nearly all the way before driving back in. Ran's body shuddered, and he tossed his head back and forth in silent ecstasy as Yohji set up a slow, smooth rhythm. His strokes were long and deep, steady but unhurried, prolonging this moment of joining as long as possible. Now that he had the redhead at his mercy, so to speak, he wasn't about to loose him quickly.
His own breath hissed softly as he moved, unable to keep from making a sound. He was usually loud during sex, liked to show his pleasure with loud groans and cries and constant words of passion and appreciation. But this night, he did his level best to remain as noiseless as possible, following Ran's example. This was a night made for silence, made for pure feeling of sensation without the distraction of any other senses. Indeed, Ran's heart-stopping eyes were tightly closed, and had been since Yohji had entered him.
Yohji himself would have done the same, pulled under by the onslaught of wave after wave of incredible heat and friction, and sheer bliss not just of what he was doing, but who he was doing it with. God, he was fucking Aya, and sweet Jesus but it felt good....oh shit he was so tight, and it was so hot! But he couldn't tear his eyes away from the unbelievable sight of Aya, the cold and heartless ice man, flushed and writhing beneath him.
The thin, bright red trickle of blood from the cut on Ran's lip ran down his chin, tiny droplets landing on his chest, smearing with his movements into criss-crossing red streaks, that might or might not convey a message in some forgotten, alien tongue. His back arched high, drawn tight by the silent tidal wave of pleasure. His head went back, mouth open in a noiseless gasp, his chin rising in the air to match the arc of his body. Yohji found himself fascinated by a single drop of crimson that hung, quivering, on the point of his jaw.
Like a drop of emotion wrung from a stone-clad heart, outward proof of the heat and fire that lurked, ever hidden, below the cold and frozen surface.
He does have red blood in his veins after all, was all Yohji could think. And even as he smacked himself mentally for the uncharitable uselessness of the thought, he was leaning down, drawn as if hypnotized by the sight of the droplet hanging, suspended, about to fall. Surging forward as he thrust again, he leant to meet the bright red drop as it fell, the silvery metallic taste of it bursting onto his tongue. Christ... He suppressed a groan as he licked his lips, still tasting red and silver. God, it was addicting. What the hell was wrong with him, to be so turned on by this, when more often than not, spilling blood was his job? He saw it on almost every mission, in a far from erotic light, so why did it affect him this way now?
He decided that he didn't care, and Ran's eyes flew open suddenly as he traced the path of crimson with his tongue, laving up the evidence of Ran's loss of control. A loss of control which was entirely due to him--he, Kudou Yohji, had made Aya lose control to the point where he drew blood to keep from screaming. Yohji shuddered, a thrill of pure and total victory sweeping through him as he met the wide-eyed gaze of his silent lover. Aya had responded to him. Aya wanted him. It was intoxicating, exhilarating, and it felt fucking good!
He increased his pace now, thrusting harder, riding the crest of emotion as the reality of it swept through him. Ran's eyes narrowed, understanding and not really liking the implications of that little interchange, but he, too, was getting dangerously close to climax. He braced himself, meeting Yohji's thrusts in a matching rhythm, the nearness of completion now impossible to ignore. Yohji smiled grimly to himself, careful not to let it show on his face.
He was never letting Ran forget this. This was going to happen again, he would make sure of it. Oh, he knew Ran well enough to know that Ran might regret it in the morning, regret allowing this intimacy, this release. Yohji was quite prepared to be ignored, snubbed, and generally frozen out. But he knew, now, exactly where he stood. Well, not exactly; but close enough. He knew that he had the ability to get to Ran, to make him react, to break through the ice he surrounded himself with, and he was damn well going to use it. The prickly swordsman could resist all he liked--he could even pretend he didn't want it. Yohji knew better, now. He knew Ran wanted him; well, he wanted him too, and he was going to have him. No ifs, ands or buts. No question.
He smiled to himself, thoroughly pleased with that idea. Ran was his. And with that thought, he was slightly startled when a strong hand curled around the back of his neck and pulled him down for a thorough kiss. A fierce, possessive kiss, with no small amount of force behind it. You belong to me. Payback time.
Yohji's rhythm slowed as Ran kissed him deeply, thrusting his tongue in to taste smoke and cinnamon, and the lingering tang of the blowjob Yohji had given him. It was an aggressive, dominating kiss, not just possessing but owning, reminding Yohji just why this man was the leader of Weiss...it sure wasn't for his people skills. No, it was that natural assurance, confidence, the simple quiet power of his intense nature that made them follow his orders.
And that very surety, that focused certainty backed by an inner fire, was not threatening, but comforting and heartening. It was, in fact, almost exhilarating, a feeling of being overwhelmed by roaring flame--wrapped in heat that could kill you, but it was somehow...safe. He decided he rather liked being owned by Ran. As if to emphasize this, Ran bit down on the lip he'd been sucking on, just hard enough to draw blood, giving Yohji a matching brand of passion and release. The spike of pain mingled with pleasure in a shocking wave of ecstasy...his last not-entirely-coherent thought was that he definitely must have something wrong with him for that to feel sooo fucking good. Whatever it was, he loved it. Then he stopped thinking altogether, all he could do was feel as everything faded out into white fire.
~*~
Ran hadn't really acted on conscious thought when he'd pulled Yohji down for that bruising kiss--the reaction had been pure instinct, borne of the annoyance he still carried from his partner's teasing manner, and the way he seemed to think he was in control of the situation. Ran was perfectly happy to let him take the lead in their lovemaking--that wasn't the issue, he didn't have a problem with Yohji being on top. It was the glint in Yohji's eye that spoke of his belief that he, and not Ran, was the one who had the upper hand in this...yes, okay, it was a relationship; whatever the nature of that relationship turned out to be.
His original intention had simply been to kiss the hell out of him in as aggressive a manner as possible, leaving a lasting impression of possession, and he suspected that he'd been nearly as surprised as Yohji when the kiss had ended as he bit down and tasted blood. He couldn't say that he was sorry, or that he wouldn't have done it on purpose if it had occurred to him beforehand.
It felt right, somehow, to leave his mark there the way Yohji had indirectly done to him. And he felt it was poetic justice, of a sort, that Yohji caught the already bloody wound in his teeth as he came, in the same way Ran had earlier.
Somewhere in the back of his mind he tucked away for later the oddly warm thought that he wasn't the only one who was going to be finding it painful to smile, for awhile. Most of his attention was transfixed by the electric image of ecstasy Yohji made as he grimaced, blood trickling down his chin, head thrown back as his body jerked reflexively with rippling shocks of release. Ran's body was suffused with heat, and he gritted his teeth against a moan at the sensation of hot seed spilling into his core. It was with a surge of immense satisfaction that he finally gave into his own climax, shuddering and letting out an explosive breath that was not--quite--a groan.
'Oh gods'....he went limp at last and it took him a moment to realize vaguely that Yohji had not, in fact, collapsed on top of him, or even beside him. He was instead leaning on unsteady arms, bending over Ran and watching him intently with a strange expression on his face. With something of an effort, he focused enough to frown slightly as he studied the odd look. What?
Yohji shook his head, blonde locks tumbling around his face and hiding his eyes. Ignoring the silent question, he leaned down and gently kissed Ran on the forehead. Then he shook his hair back, giving Ran a faint quirk of a smile before he pulled out and fell with sigh to lie beside him in comfortable silence. Ran blinked bemusedly. What was that all about?
He looked over to find the green eyes fixed on him with an expression of complete contentment. For once, he could not read what lay behind warm gaze, and he was not sure how he felt about that, or the almost sacred reverence of the kiss.
Maybe it didn't matter....his own languid feeling of content was sapping his curiosity, diffusing whatever else he might have felt, and for now, it was more than enough. This was more than enough.
Ran rolled onto his side, putting his arm around Yohji, and turned his head to nuzzle the crook of his neck, lapping gently at it with his tongue before pressing a soft kiss to the same spot. He stilled then, face hidden against his lover, just holding him and letting the unfamiliar, almost uncomfortable feelings and sensations wash through him. A gentle hand stroked his lower back, making soothing circles on the sensitive skin, and he murmured in appreciation. Yes, he could definitely get used to this.
A soft, nearly inaudible whisper touched the silence, not breaking it so much as temporarily nudging it aside. "Don't go."
Ran stiffened and froze, realizing that while normally he would have done just that, tonight, it hadn't even occurred to him. He had wanted to stay here, wrapped in warmth and silence and strong arms, listening to Yohji's breathing as he fell asleep. Sudden fear washed through him, as the chilling reality of just how much he wanted that took hold of him. This was so not good. Really, really not good. Not smart.
He was appalled suddenly by the magnitude of what he could lose, and part of him wanted to throw it away before it could be taken from him. Because fate had never yet been kind enough to let him keep the ones he...cared about. And it would break him to have it torn away, to have this precious...something, torn asunder along with his heart, again. Better to break his own heart than allow it to be broken. Better to be lonely than to let someone else have that kind of power to hurt him.
And yet another part of him was angry, at fate and at his own fear, and that was the strongest part. His arms tightened around his lover, and he buried his face in his hair, breathing in his scent. The anger spiked with a sudden flash of defiance, he decided that he didn't care what fate had in store. He was going to fight it with every last breath in his body. After a moment, he replied in the same barely audible tone, "Go to sleep, idiot. I'm not going anywhere."
Yohji sighed and relaxed against him, and Ran ached with a feeling that was very near to laughter or tears, but he was not sure which. And in any case, he did not give in to it, except to turn and press a kiss on the soft tangles of blonde hair, and wonder desperately what he had gotten himself into.
He thought he would lay awake for a very long time, listening to the silence, but it was only a few minutes before the peaceful lassitude again took hold of his senses, and he curled into the warmth and let it pull him under into, for once, dreamless sleep.
~*~
Yohji, on the other hand, did lay awake for several hours, staring into the darkness, and wondering if he knew, after all, what he was getting into. He thought he had, thought he knew what he was dealing with here, but maybe...maybe he was not so sure.
He had surprised himself with his plea for Ran to stay--he had not been planning to say that; and if he had thought of it sooner, he would have thought better of it. The sudden surge of emptiness and feeling of impending desolation which had prompted it, had taken him by surprise, and he had spoken before he could censor it.
But if his plea had startled him, Ran's response to it had shocked him beyond words. The silent tightening of Ran's embrace before his gruffly whispered answer was so totally opposite of any reaction he might have predicted, and for Ran to actually say that he wasn't going anywhere...he was stunned speechless. He would have said five minutes ago that it was rather out of character for Ran. Hell, he still thought it was. He was confused, and he wasn't certain if this unexpected behavior was a good thing or a bad thing.
Ran's even breathing next to him signaled the other man's descent into slumber, and he smiled faintly in the dark, a wry, wondering expression. This was sooo fucking weird. He dreamed of this, dreamed of even one night with his fire-haired teammate, but he had never once allowed himself to imagine that sex would not be the end of it. He had never thought that Ran would stay a minute longer than it took to clean himself off.
Which reminded him...he raised his head, and sighed as he realized that getting up and getting a washcloth or something of the sort would require Ran moving, and would probably wake him up. And since Yohji was fairly certain that Ran had gone from the haziness of afterglow straight into real unconsciousness, in spite of the whispered words, he had probably not been really aware of the implications of being where he was. He might have just not felt like moving.
Yohji would rather not get him really awake and find out that Ran would leave after all once he was shifted out of his comfortable position. No, he didn't want to risk that. Just for tonight he wanted to...to pretend that Ran did belong to him. To imagine that this was normal, that they were--lovers, and not just...whatever the hell they were now. That Ran staying all night in his bed, and...and maybe...maybe waking up next to him was a commonplace occurrence.
He laughed silently at himself before the thought was even fully formed, and shook his head. 'Like bloody hell,' he thought wearily. He wasn't about to let himself hope for something so impossible.
But no, he was not going to disturb Ran if he could help it. Even if it meant doing a half-assed job of wiping them both down with a corner of the damn sheet. He carefully disentangled himself just enough, leaned over and grabbed the farthest corner to do just that, grimacing a little at the sticky traces still left behind.
He dabbed at his lip, wincing slightly, and then had to contain his grin as he remembered that feeling, of being overwhelmed and possessed, the sharp flash of pain and ecstasy and most of all, the implicit statement that he belonged to Ran. The fierce swordsman had no idea how true that was, but Yohji intended to make sure that he found out. Of course, there was no guarantee that it would matter to Ran, but still.
He sighed, a little sadly, and very carefully touched Ran's lower lip with the sheet, although the gash there had already begun to scab over. There was nothing he could do about the dried red streaks of blood in various places, more of it on Ran than on himself. Ah well, it was better than nothing. And better that waking Ran.
He grinned to himself, just slightly, tucking one hand behind his head, the other still trapped under Ran's body as the other man lay curled against him. Hell yeah. No, it was going to be a good goddamn long time before he went to sleep...this might be his only chance to live his dream, and he was fucking well going to enjoy it.
2: Morning Stillness
Ran awoke in unfamiliar surroundings, and froze instantly. Where was he?
Someone stirred next to him, and he was aware of a warm body curled up against him. Kudou. Right. He was in Yohji's room. With a long sigh he allowed himself to relax, unsure if he was actually happy with the situation.
He'd been wanting to sleep with Yohji for a long time, but afterward...he wasn't looking forward to dealing with that. Nothing had changed between them, and everything had changed. Too many unknowns, too many new variables and possibilities, and yet they still had to work together, live together the same as always. He felt frustrated, facing now the reality created by last night's impulse, and suddenly not sure if it was worth it after all.
What had seemed so obvious, so right in the silence of night was now full of questions, hidden implications. Some things were much less clear in the light of morning. Maybe he could just leave....
He shifted gingerly, hoping he could just roll out quietly without disturbing his still-sleeping lover. The arm thrown loosely around him slipped away, and he held his breath--
And let it out suddenly in a soft grunt of surprise as he was pulled back into a tight embrace, the strong arm tucked firmly around his waist, Yohji's other hand tangled in his hair. A soft whimper came from the blonde man as he spooned up against Ran's side and buried his face in his shoulder. Still asleep, and definitely not letting go.
Ran sighed again, in resignation. 'Dammit.' Well, he hadn't exactly wanted to leave anyway...that was part of the problem. He turned his head to look at the sleeping man with a twinge of wry amusement. 'You're a big teddy bear, Kudou.' This was not strictly accurate, since he was well aware that Yohji could be perfectly ruthless when necessary. But in sleep his face was smooth and free of shadows, and he looked younger than his twenty-three years. Ran shifted slightly so that he could return the embrace, wrapping his arm around Yohji's shoulder.
The blonde hair tickled his face and he reached a lazy hand to smooth it back. The motion turned into a caress, fingers running through the soft blonde strands and twining around a handful at the base of Yohji's neck. His words from last night echoed in his mind. 'I'm not going anywhere.' Did he really mean that? Did he want to mean that?
He struggled with himself, knowing the truth, yet finding it incredibly hard to actually admit it, even in the privacy of his own mind.
The ache from last night had not lessened. He felt angry again, and he was aware that not all of it was aimless--he was angry with Yohji too, for slipping under his defenses, getting inside his walls when he wasn't looking, making a place for himself which might then be left cold and empty. Angry with himself, for wanting it, needing it so badly. It was a weakness, a liability, one that neither of them could really afford. He shouldn't allow himself to--but...
But there it was. He had allowed it, had encouraged and welcomed it, even. Well, if he was going to allow this weakness--and hadn't he already made that decision?--he was going to make damn sure it was worth it.
He found himself somewhat annoyed by the apparent hypocrisy of Yohji's request--it was Yohji who had a new girl every week to fuck and forget. And he had asked Ran not to go, as if Ran were the one most likely to walk away--hell no, he wasn't letting Yohji get off that easily. If he thought Ran was just going to let things go on as if nothing had happened, he had another think coming.
His arms tightened almost involuntarily around his lover. Whether Yohji knew it or not, he belonged to Ran now. He would find that out soon enough. No way he was letting that happen, letting this be just a one-night stand. Ran felt a sardonic smirk curl his lips, as he imagined the look on Yohji's face when he confronted him about it. But that could wait--he really had no idea what he would say anyway.
He would just have to...take one day, one thing at a time. Deal with that when the time came. For now, find a way to handle all these unfamiliar, awkward feelings, without compromising the mental balance and emotional armor he needed to do his job. Damn Kudoh.
He sighed as the tension drained out of him, leaving behind resignation and wry acceptance. He brushed a ghost of a kiss on the other man's forehead, and pressed his cheek against the blonde head. Ah hell...he could get used to this, alright. Besides...it felt nice, being held. Being loved.
Feeling somewhat more at peace with himself, now that his head had rationalized his heart's impulsive decision, he gave himself over to the mindless, luxurious content of watching Yohji's peaceful sleeping face, as he trailed his fingers through the tangled blonde mess of hair on his pillow. Everything else could just wait.
~*~
Yohji stirred sleepily, dragging himself, slowly, out of the depths of slumber. Warm. Safe.
He was sleeping with someone? Damn, he didn't usually actually fall asleep in bed with someone he brought home...what had he...? And this was no soft minx such as he usually went for--and he didn't bring the guys home--so why were the arms around him so strong, the body flat and hard, and....Oh. Ohhhh....right.
In disbelief, he forced his eyes open a crack, to confirm what his memory was telling him. Red hair brushed his eyes, stinging briefly and he hurriedly squeezed them tightly shut again. 'Oh my god....'
Feeling a wondering, incredulous sense of something that was too fragile to be called hope, his arms tightened around his....his lover. 'He's here....he's still here...oh gods...' He thanked every god he believed in, and several that he didn't. Ran was here, it hadn't been a dream--and he hadn't left as soon as he woke up, either.
Suddenly his throat felt tight, and he swallowed hard. He had hardly dared to imagine, to hope, before, but now...was it possible?
No, no, he wasn't even going to think about that...he was going to take things as they came, and not try to discern the reasons for them. Ran was here, and Yohji was holding him, and that was enough for now. More than he'd hoped for, really--god, the whole damn night was more than he'd ever dreamed of....he rubbed a hand in aimless circles on Ran's back, needing to touch, to just reassure himself that this was real. That he was touching Ran, and Ran was letting him. Even welcoming it...he heard a soft sigh of appreciation or content as he continued the soothing motion.
He felt like he was in shock, suspended in disbelief, and any minute now reality would come crashing back and Ran would freeze, and say something cold and cutting, and leave...he swallowed hard again. The blank fear of that idea scared him almost as much as the idea itself.
When did he let start letting himself need this so much? He'd been trying so hard for so long to accept that it was never going to be, and now all he could think was that it was, and oh god, if it had to end now, it was going to tear out his heart. He could think of few things more painful than getting this close to Ran and having him walk away again. Please, please don't leave...
For an instant, he allowed himself to entertain the heady idea of waking up in the same bed with Ran often, every day even...ahh, that would be heaven... He sighed heavily. Never going to happen in a million years, no matter what strange peace was holding Ran here this morning, it would never last.
"What's wrong?" He blinked, not registering for a moment that Ran had spoken, then replaying the quiet question in his mind. What did he mean, what's wrong?
"What do you mean? Nothing's wrong."
"Liar," Ran said, without heat. "You sound...lost."
Oh...the sigh. Yohji didn't know quite what to say to that. 'It's not me that's lost,' he thought, 'it's what I'm losing.'
"This is...nice," he said instead, not directly answering the question.
Ran was silent. Yohji raised his head to peer at his face, trying with some apprehension to read his expression. His lips were pressed together in a thin line, as if he were struggling with something. He closed his eyes, and finally in a whisper he answered, "Yes. It is."
Surprised, Yohji just stared for a moment. Was he...
Ran opened his eyes then, and they were troubled; Yohji was caught by the wild beauty of the expression and the unusual color. "Yohji, I..." Ran shook his head, looking away. "We don't have to be up until later," he offered with a sideways glance, and Yohji smiled, slightly, his eyes lighting with understanding, and maybe with relief.
He recognized the offer for what it was, an oblique response to his indirect statement, for all the things he could not say; it was about as much as he was likely to get from the redhead.
But then Ran surprised him again, meeting his eyes with a fierce, intent gaze, an look that seemed to be telling him something, though he wasn't sure what. He noticed suddenly that the easy communication of silence from last night seemed to have gone, the gods knew where, and wished it hadn't--a fleeting thought before Ran's mouth descended on his in a fiery, intense kiss. It was hard and demanding, passionate and hungry, fueled by all the intentions and emotions that Ran didn't know how to express, taking possession of his mouth and his soul in no uncertain terms. Mine. He understood that message, all right.
The kiss broke, though their faces were still mere inches apart, and Yohji was left wide-eyed and breathless, a little bit wondering. That fragile bit of almost-hope was suddenly flaring into almost-belief, almost joy. Ran was giving him that same intense stare, looking to see if he got the message, and then the expression eased, his body relaxing, and he looked to be smirking faintly. Yohji would have grinned, if the wound on his lip wasn't already smarting from the kiss.
"No, we don't," he agreed to Ran's earlier comment, and his voice, still husky, sounded very much as if someone had just kissed him senseless. He was fighting that grin again--man, this was going to be a bitch, not being able to smile much more than a little tilt of his lips. Although he was certain that if he could really smile, it would be a large, silly, relieved grin that would make him look rather foolish.
Almost-believing your impossible dreams had come true would do that to you. Maybe, just maybe...well, they would take it one day at a time. One step at a time. He laid his head on Ran's shoulder and pulled him closer, letting his eyes drift closed. Yeah, this was enough for now. More than enough.
He lay drowsing in the warmth and lethargic peace that had fallen after his last words, and felt the slight weight on the top of his head as Ran laid his cheek against it. They were definitely going to have to do this again, he thought hazily, but he was feeling too warm and peaceful to worry about that now.
The comforting silence fell again, unspoken words slipping into the background for another day, another time, and they lay simply holding each other in the morning stillness.
Author: Kagemihari
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Koyasu Takehito and Project Weiss. Not me.
Rating: NC17
Warnings: PWP, lemon, swearing, a little bit of sap, sort of, and possibly some OOCness.
Summary: YxA smut and sap PWP...really, absolutely no plot. After a mission, Yohji helps Aya with an injury, and they give in to their mutual attraction.
~Stille Nacht~
1: Silent Night
Ran sat stiffly on the edge of the bathtub, his muscles trembling slightly with shock and fatigue. It had been a bad mission. Not a total disaster, but bad. The planning of it had been fucked up, somehow missing some key details, and things had gotten messy. He hadn't been able to completely salvage the mess, and it was hurting his pride. Technically, it was probably not his fault. Logically, there was nothing he could have done. Mentally, however, he was the leader of Weiss, and this was his fault. They had gotten in and gotten their target, but getting out had proved to be more difficult. They had gotten out, but not without new scars.
The graze on his arm from a bullet was not too deep nor too serious, but it had bled profusely, leaving him a bit light-headed, and he had been unable to care for it himself. Which is why he was sitting here letting Yohji patch him up, and trying not to let his mind wander. He was tired, he was sore, his defenses were way down, and if he let himself think too much about the hard, sexy body of the man standing next to him he was going to have a serious problem. It didn't help that Yohji was already partially undressed for bed, and was not wearing a shirt. Ran could smell the fresh clean scent of his skin after the shower he'd taken.
He'd been attracted to the man from almost the first time he saw him, way back on that first day. The tall, slim blonde man had immediately caught his attention, and while he had initially dismissed him as shallow and foolish, he had learned otherwise very quickly. That playboy image hid a razor sharp mind, and the lazy determination of a practiced hunter. Yohji didn't remind him of a cat so much as a tiger, sleek and elegant, and oh so smooth. God he was hot, long and lanky and firmly muscled, with a tantalizing sense of coiled power. The man practically radiated sex, and he was not shy about advertising it.
Ran focused determinedly on the cold grey tile of the bathroom floor. Think unsexy thoughts, not...oh god.
Having finished with his arm, Yohji was now running his hands lightly over Ran's body, searching for other wounds. The gentle, searching touch felt like traces of fire, and immediately whatever small success he was having keeping his mind out of the gutter vanished like smoke on the wind. It had been a long time, and he wanted this so bad... He tensed, trying to stay in control. Trying to fight back the reaction he was having to the other man's nearness and the gentle fingers on his skin.
It wasn't working. He could feel himself hardening just sitting here and he couldn't keep his mind off what it would be like to have that firm hard body pressed up against him. To have the slender fingers finding all his sensitive spots, the teasing mouth hot and slick on his, tasting his lips, his tongue, his throat. What it would be like to explore Yohji's smooth white skin with his own fingers and tongue, to make him moan, to tease him and taste him and make him lose control. To lie beneath him and get fucked good and hard...He suppressed a groan. No, no, no, he was so not going to do this.
Apparently satisfied that Ran had no further injuries to his upper body, Yohji placed a hand on his knee as he started to look over the rest of him. The tension in Ran's body intensified until it was nearly unbearable, and he went rigid with the effort it took to not just jump him right there.
Yohji frowned, thinking he had hit a sore spot, then went still himself as he saw the all too obvious erection that strained the tight pants Ran had worn that evening. For a long second he didn't move, then his gaze flicked up to Ran's face.
"Aya?"
His gaze was questioning, surprised--shocked even--but he didn't look offended. Ran looked back at him steadily, the cold mask firmly in place, wondering how to respond. Should he apologize? No. 'What is there to apologize for?' It was just a natural reaction to the touch and presence of a highly attractive man.
Hell, the man ought to be flattered at least, even if he was straight. Which he was, that much everybody knew. Yohji made no secret of his lifestyle, and it was all about women. That being the main reason Ran had never tried to act on this attraction before.
That, and the fact that...well, he was Fujimiya Aya, who lived for vengeance and nothing else. Aya didn't do apologies. And who would believe that he, the icy, silent leader of Weiss who was cold and aloof and didn't need anybody, found his outgoing teammate sexually attractive?
And then, too, it could very easily get out of control. It wasn't wise, getting mixed up with someone you worked with. Even if you lived with them as well, even if it was only casual sex and not a serious relationship, still....it wasn't a smart idea. Too dangerous, getting too close...
Sunk in his thoughts, Ran barely registered the fact as Yohji got to his feet and stood looking at him for a moment, unmoving--then gradually he realized that it gave him a clear view of the telltale bulge in his pants. Yohji was as turned on as he was right now. Shocked, Ran's eyes met the green gaze again, this time in confusion. 'What the hell?'
Yohji shrugged, a faint, deprecating smile on his face; he wasn't going to explain. He reached out, slowly, as if Ran might disappear on him if he wasn't careful, and touched his cheek, brushing back a strand of crimson, then resting his hand gently against the side of Ran's head. Tilting his head to one side, he studied Ran's face, one eyebrow raised in wary speculation.
What...are you...? Ran couldn't put words to that searching expression; there were so many things encompassed there, so many questions, so many possible explanations...tension vibrated in the air between them as if some invisible cord were suddenly stretched tight, drawing them together, and yet...
He felt his chest seize with the sudden conflicting emotions; so much potential was shimmering in this one moment, fraught with both desperate desire and dread, there was so much here that could go horribly wrong--or impossibly, incredibly right--and there was but a thin knife blade of chance between the two. His first, instinctive reaction was jerk away from the gentle, almost tender touch, to put up a protecting front of cold indifference, even anger, and reassert his defenses....but he was caught, held breathless by the look in those green eyes that he couldn't quite read.
"You know what I want?" Yohji asked him softly, still searching his face for something, and he was so close... Ran was fairly sure it was a rhetorical question, and even if it wasn't, there was no way in hell he was going to manage speech at this point. His body was still stiff and his jaw clamped shut, and Yohji was so damn close....
He hoped the man wasn't expecting any sort of response other than a brief shiver, because that was as much as Ran was capable of right now. What did Yohji want? Ran knew what he wanted, and if it was the same thing--ye gods, what a question.... he shivered again.
He had no idea what was showing on his face or in his eyes--maybe the sudden surge of fear and desire, and something like hope--but whatever was must have given Yohji the clue he was looking for, because his expression softened and a gleam appeared in his eyes as he gave Ran that lazy smile. That smile...god...it was like he was melting, both from the sheer heat on the surface of his skin, and from someplace deep inside. He felt dazed, as if he were standing in the sun and it was too hot, too bright, overwhelming him with light and heat.
Yohji leaned down, putting his head on a level with Ran's, speaking next to his ear as he answered his own question. "I want to fuck you," he whispered, his voice low and sensual. The warm breath on his ear made his skin prickle with feverish chill; the sound thrilled through Ran's entire body, something like lightning racing through his veins, setting every nerve on fire. His eyes widened slightly and he looked away, his mouth tightening, fighting for control. His pants were now painfully tight, his groin throbbing fiercely at the unexpected words. He wanted this so bad.
His common sense was trying to kick in, though, now that Yohji was really responding to him--taking the lead actually. It set off little warnings in his mind that this was too much, too fast, and someone was going to get hurt. But...he struggled to think past the blood roaring in his ears.
The green eyes resting on him were almost amused, and Yohji definitely knew what he was doing, what he was getting into. What he was asking for. Shit, it didn't get any more blunt than that.
And god, he wanted it, and if Yohji was just going to give it to him, well...hell yeah.
~*~
Yohji waited, watching, disappointment washing through him. He'd finally gotten the sexy redhead to notice him, and his chance was going to slip away after all...but he refused to force the issue. The only way he wanted this was with Aya's full participation, if Aya really wanted it, too, wanted him--or it was pointless.
If all he wanted was a good fuck, he could get that somewhere else. He wanted Aya. He'd known for a long time that his initial attraction to the icy man was turning, slowly but inevitably, into something more. How much more, he was not prepared to say, but he had come to genuinely like and respect the stiff, reserved swordsman. The flashes of fire and fierce loyalty he'd glimpsed beneath the cold exterior had only served to deepen his fascination.
Not to mention Aya was abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous. God what he wouldn't give, to touch him just once, to feel him respond with all that fire inside, to make him moan and plead and cry out with ecstasy, to bury himself deep inside that hot, tight ass...Aya had a beautiful ass. God...
He'd been reckless, he knew, seeing for once a chink in the armor, a flash of hope--seen desire for just an instant in those amazing eyes, before the cold mask fell again. That tiny bit of indication that maybe, just maybe, Aya wouldn't shoot him down--he'd reacted almost without thinking, pressing his advantage, exploiting a perceived weakness, going for the kill, so to speak--but suddenly he was afraid he'd gone too far. Damn that reckless streak; but he'd always trusted his instincts, and they told him that here, tonight, was his chance, that all it would take was a bit of a push and a show of confidence--well, he could do that, even if he was scared to death inside.
He wasn't going to beg though--at least, not out loud...Please, Aya, please, for once...give in, let go, let me - let me in...
Aya hadn't moved though, hadn't pulled away or got up and left, and he was at least thinking about it. Yohji held his breath and waited, hoping like crazy that he hadn't pushed too far, too fast, and ruined what might be his only chance. Hell, he knew it was his only chance. Aya's proud stubbornness alone, if nothing else, would never let Yohji get this close again if he turned him down tonight.
Finally Aya turned his head, meeting his eyes again. His face was unreadable, his strangely colored eyes dark with emotion or desire.
"Aya?" Yohji asked again, trying to keep the wistful note out of his voice.
"Ran," the sexy deep voice corrected him quietly. "My name is Ran." And Aya--Ran--nodded slightly at him, his expression intense, as if wanting to make sure Yohji understood how important this was.
He understood alright. He had always known that "Aya" wasn't his real name--it was a girl's name, for one thing, and it just didn't quite fit. But he had been well aware of the kind of things that might be hiding in the past that could make the man want to lose his name, and he wasn't about to pry. All of Weiss had thoroughly fucked up pasts to deal with, and he had no desire to bring Aya--Ran's--home to him or make him think about it any oftener than he must already. Still, part of him had always wondered, a trifle wistfully, what his real name was.
That Ran was telling him now, allowing him into that carefully guarded part of his life.... Yohji was suddenly horribly torn between wrapping the man in a tight embrace to soothe the painful memories it must have brought up, or dragging him off by the hair to fuck him now. He settled for leaning down and kissing him senseless, a long, slow, heated kiss full of promise and desire.
Gods, the man could kiss. He wondered distantly if Ran had ever been kissed before, and decided vaguely that it didn't matter. However he'd gotten to be so damn good at it, was really beside the point; Yohji was melting inside and his blood was running in his veins like liquid fire, and he was going to have trouble standing up here in a minute.
Actually, never mind standing, he was having trouble breathing, right now. He broke away with a groan, pulling an equally regretful moan from Ran and stood panting, trying to slow his racing heart. He leaned forward to rest his head against Ran's forehead, looking into his eyes, which were half-closed in pleasure and desire.
Ran smiled slowly, the most open and warm expression Yohji had ever seen on his face, and this one was definitely teasing, no, make that enticing and seductive. He hadn't know Aya could look like that--it was fucking weird; but god it was hot. In fact, it was sexy as hell. He shrugged off the sensation of strangeness and gave himself up to it. He licked his lips, watching that sexy smile and wondering what Ran was up to.
"So, fuck me, then," Ran whispered, and the low purr of his voice vibrated through Yohji's system like a runaway train, emotion and desire and a thrill of triumph crashing over him in a cacophony of raw need. He could tell by smirk on Ran's face that this had been the intention. 'Holy fucking shit.'
Oh, fuck yeah. He growled possessively, and dragged Ran to his feet, never loosening his grip for a second. He wasn't even sure he'd make it as far as the bed, but he was damn well going to try.
~*~
Ran wasn't sure what had possessed him to tell Yohji his real name, except that it seemed wrong somehow to be called by his sister's name in this moment of intimacy. His sister and his mission didn't have anything to do with this, this was his and his alone. For a moment he felt guilty, the promise that he'd made to her weighing heavily on him, threatening to crush his desire. But Yohji still had him held tightly by the wrist, then slipped an arm securely, possessively, around his waist as they made their way down the silent hall, and he wasn't sure Yohji was capable of stopping at this point.
He wasn't sure he was capable of stopping, either. He wanted it just as much as Yohji did, maybe more. He was suddenly and intensely aware of strength and power in the lean frame pressed against him, and the guilt faded away with barely a whisper as need came rushing back to fill him. His entire body hurt with it, with lust and longing and he wanted this so bad! Needed it, needed the strong hands all over his him, caressing and arousing and tender and fierce, needed the hot mouth to claim him and mark him and wash him clean, needed to be filled and pounded and taken, god....He shuddered. Needed it so bad.
He felt the answering shudder in the hard body at his side, their harsh breathing loud in the silence, knew that both of them were on the edge of taking this to the floor right here, right now--but no...they couldn't, that wasn't...a good idea...why?
Ah yes, the boys, Ken and Omi were sleeping, presumably, in their own rooms, and would be shocked and horrified if they were to come out and find their elders screwing like rabbits in the hall. No...they couldn't do that, attractive as the idea sounded.
"My room..." he heard his partner gasp breathlessly, "...s'closer."
An affirmative hiss from his own throat, nearly incapable of speech, and they changed direction, moving toward the door a few feet away, hands already fumbling at the restrictive clothing. They fell inside and managed, barely, not to slam the door behind them; then their legs gave out finally and they were on the floor, wrestling off the last of the clothing and clinging together as they shared a fierce, desperate, hungry kiss.
It was hot and needy and unbelievably sexy, and Ran knew they would never make it to the bed if they didn't get there right now. And with the part of his rational mind – a very small part, admittedly – that was still functioning, he decided that he didn't particularly want to get fucked into the hard cold floor. Not with the energy and enthusiasm Yohji was going to put into it, and he wanted that, god yes, wanted Yohji to fuck him hard, dammit!
With an effort he pulled them both to their feet, never breaking the kiss, and dragged the unprotesting Yohji over to the futon in the corner. They collapsed there with twin sighs of relief and passion – that same small, rational part of his mind noted that this was an odd combination. He told it pointedly to "shut up and fuck off!", and turned his entire concentration to making this the best damn night of his life.
They moved in silence by an unspoken agreement, something about the stillness of the night and the nearby sleepers seeming to demand it. The heat and friction of their bodies was intensified by the pressure of noiseless pleasure, the glint of teasing and amusement in both pairs of eyes as they tested each others limits. Moans, growls, and soft cries were muffled into hands, shoulders, sheets and pillows, and deep groans were swallowed into the hot cavernous depths of an open mouthed kiss.
There was lull at last, a brief respite, pausing to delay the inevitable while they rested against each other with merely brief, tender touches maintaining the mood. They both wanted this to last as long as possible. Without words, and avoiding it even in their thoughts, they knew this meant far too much to both of them to make it quick and dirty this first time.
No, it was more like...Ran shoved the thought away in a hurry, shying away from the vaguely threatening feeling. Not yet, he wasn't, they weren't, ready to deal with that yet. He let his eyes drift over the smooth toned skin of the man in his arms, noting appreciatively the marks he'd left on Yohji's chest and shoulders, and reached a hand to trail idly across his collarbone, and down the clearly defined muscles in his arm. Mine. He leaned up slightly, brushing the lightest of kisses at the hollow of Yohji's throat, and let his mouth follow the path his fingers had taken, tracing the collarbone, raining featherlight kisses on the soft skin.
~*~
Yohji shivered, and suppressed a moan as the heat rose in him like a tide of fire. The whispering touches were driving him mad. God, Ran was good at this. He must have done this before....Yohji didn't let himself think about that. It was none of his business, right? He had no reason to be jealous, it wasn't like Ran was his in the first place.
It wasn't like he wanted--ahh...He hissed as Ran's tongue found his nipple again, and he twisted his fingers more tightly in the soft red hair. He couldn't think, god, he could hardly breathe when Ran was doing that...oh fuck! That felt good...
He threw his head back and tossed it back and forth in his efforts to keep from moaning aloud, as Ran's hot wet mouth moved lower, his tongue languorously tracing Yohji's ribcage and the hard lines of his abdomen, dipping into his navel and then traveling sideways to find a sensitive spot on his hip. The sensations of heat and pleasure rippled through him, and he was losing it, losing his grip on himself and his reality. He could feel the long denied emotions surging up, desire and longing and fierce joy...
His hands rested now on Ran's hips and unconsciously his grip tightened; he was probably, no, certainly, leaving bruises on the pale skin but he didn't care. You're mine, all mine. His heart believed the possessive thoughts, though his mind knew it was too good to be true. But dammit all to hell...he wished it were. God, did he wish it were true. You belong to me now! I won't, I won't let you get away from me again. If only he could make sure of that....Goddamn you, Ran...
He thought there might be tears on his face, or maybe it was just sweat. They were both dripping with it, from heat and exertion and the heavy pressure of the silence, closing in on them. The only sounds were their ragged breathing and the soft brush of skin on skin, and faint thumps against the mattress.
Yohji grabbed Ran's shoulders and pushed him back firmly to lie flat, then leaned down to capture Ran's mouth again in a deep, desperate, possessive kiss. The answering kiss was just as hungry, just as fierce, and teeth clashed and lips were bit as the kiss became a small war. Ran broke away finally, pushing Yohji back insistently; his eyes were dark and smoldering, burning into Yohji with a demand that he recognized instantly. Fuck me already, dammit!
With pleasure. He grinned wolfishly and lunged forward, grinding his hips against his tall partner and pinning him to the bed. Normally at this point he would be talking, a bantering stream of dirty threats and enticing words, but tonight he simply smirked, letting his eyes speak for him. It appeared to be quite as effective; Ran's eyes were half-closed and shining with lust and annoyance, and he thrust his hips up against Yohji's in wordless frustration. Hurry up, you teasing bastard.
Funny how easy it was to communicate with Ran, even in silence. Yohji wondered if this strange connection worked as well in everyday life, if he would be able to look at Ran and see in his eyes what he was thinking, as clearly as if he had spoken aloud. Thinking back to the way they worked together on missions, he had to admit that they had done this type of thing already, many times before. Never this clearly or intensely, but it was that same feeling of knowing, that sense of certainty about the other man's thoughts and intentions. Strange that he had never noticed it before.
Ran growled deep in his throat, the barely audible sound interrupting his thoughts. It rumbled in his chest, making the air between them seem to vibrate and Yohji imagined he could feel it brushing his fevered skin. Impatient, are we? He paused, savoring for a moment the feeling of power it gave him to have such a proud, strong man utterly at his mercy and begging for his touch. He shook his head once, briefly, knowing Ran would get the message. My way. We do this my way tonight. Ran's eyes glittered up at him in wary annoyance, but he did not protest. Fine, just get on with it then!
~*~
Ran held back a frustrated sigh as Yohji rolled off him and sat up lazily, raising an eyebrow in polite disbelief. You want me to fuck you dry?
Not particularly, but Ran didn't know that he cared at this point...taking a minute to search for something to use for lube was a minute too long as far as he was concerned. There was a part of him that felt too, that the pain would somehow be penance for allowing himself this pleasure in the first place. He shook his head sharply. Just do it!
Yohji narrowed his eyes, irritated with this evidence of Ran's masochistic tendencies. Well, he was not going to be a part of that, no way. He threw a quick glance around as if hoping to be struck by inspiration. Finding nothing, he turned back and studied Ran briefly. A tiny wicked grin sparked on his face then, and Ran leaned on his elbows and eyed him warily. What?
Yohji reached out, still grinning devilishly, and took Ran's cock in his hand. He tilted his head, questioning. Ran snorted to himself, and shook his head in resignation. Fine, whatever. His skin was prickling all over with heat and anticipation, but he shot a glare at the blonde man, just for the sake of principle. Hurry up then, idiot.
The green eyes flashed with glee, and Yohji shifted himself to lie in front of Ran, lowering his head with a last gleam of triumph and licking teasingly at the head of his cock. Ran hissed sharply, grabbing fistfuls of the bedsheet as he remembered to stay silent. Damn you, Kudou... And Yohji proceeded to give him a very talented blowjob, his mouth hot and wet, and god, so right. Oh god, oh shit!
If he had still been able to think, he might have found it odd that a supposedly straight man was not only comfortable doing this, but apparently quite experienced as well. As it was, he was far past the point of any coherent thought.
His jaw clamped shut and his body shook with the effort of keeping quiet, and he could not refrain from thrusting helplessly, rising off the bed as he fucked that lovely mouth. Oh god, what a lovely mouth. Oh shit, oh shit....god...fuck!...oh, holy shit! Where did he learn how to do this? He breathed harshly through his nose, gritting his teeth and praying that he would be able to keep from screaming when he came.
He sensed his release building, and he knew he was going to come any minute. Before he could do anything to warn Yohji, the man raised his head, a feral grin on his face, and with a couple of quick, rough strokes with his hand, finished him off. Ran threw his head back, biting his lip savagely and his whole body tightened as the thick white cream shot out all over Yohji's hand and his own stomach. Unable to hold it in, Ran let out a long shuddering sigh that might have been a shout, but for the pressure of the silence; instead it was a ragged, staccato breath expelled harshly from his tense strung body.
He went limp finally and rested his head back on the pillow. Holy shit. And he still needed to be fucked. Needed to be filled and penetrated, needed to feel Yohji driving into him over and over. Damn bastard. He opened his eyes, and saw Yohji watching him thoughtfully. What was he waiting for? Well?
Yohji ignored him, raising his hand and calmly sticking out his tongue to taste the creamy whiteness. Ran's eyes widened in disbelief even as heat washed through his groin, the spent muscles tightening again. Yohji licked his hand briefly, like a cat, and swallowed consideringly. Then he licked his lips, green mischief dancing in his eyes as he looked at Ran. You taste good.
It was wicked and teasing and hot as all hell. Ran felt his groin tighten and he knew Yohji could see his desire written all over his face. He needed him, wanted him, wanted him inside him now. Hell, five minutes ago. Need you, need you, please, now...right now--shit... God, the man was annoying.
Enough! Ran glared at him, the 'shine!' death glare that he had perfected since he became an assassin. Fuck me now, you bastard, or I am going to kill you!
The green eyes glittered with amusement, and Yohji reached out deliberately to smear some of Ran's cum on his hand. He pushed two fingers into Ran's tight entrance, stretching him briefly. Frowning, he tilted his head. Relax, the green eyes said.
Ran sighed, leaned his head back again, and focused on relaxing the tension in his muscles. He took a deep breath, let it out, and was nearly ready for it when Yohji added a third slick finger. He was not ready for it when said three fingers wiggled and twisted, searching, then hit a spot that made him see stars. He went rigid, his back arching, writhing with ecstasy and the agony of silence. His already bloody lip stung as he bit down on it...damn Kudou! Oh god, he wished he had his katana handy. When he could breathe again he opened his eyes far enough to shoot a glare of pure hatred at the other man. You are going to pay for this, Kudou!
I know. Yohji smirked and withdrew his fingers, reaching up to clean the remaining seed off of Ran's stomach, gathering it up in his hand with meticulous care. His eyes, still fixed on Ran's, held a glint of affectionate amusement, and he reached down and slathered the creamy whiteness on his cock. There was brief heartbeat of motionless silence where Ran couldn't breathe; then in one smooth motion Yohji hooked his knee over his shoulder and thrust into him. Ran bit down on his bloody lip again until he could taste it, knew that it was trickling down his chin, and his fists tightened in the sheets as he arched his body up. Oh fuck, yeah! Finally....
~*~
Yohji held still for a moment, fully inside him, letting him adjust, but he could tell Ran was way past caring. The redhead wriggled in annoyance. Move, goddamn it! He raised his hips, trying to achieve more of that glorious friction. With a low sexy chuckle, Yohji gave in finally and began to move, pulling out nearly all the way before driving back in. Ran's body shuddered, and he tossed his head back and forth in silent ecstasy as Yohji set up a slow, smooth rhythm. His strokes were long and deep, steady but unhurried, prolonging this moment of joining as long as possible. Now that he had the redhead at his mercy, so to speak, he wasn't about to loose him quickly.
His own breath hissed softly as he moved, unable to keep from making a sound. He was usually loud during sex, liked to show his pleasure with loud groans and cries and constant words of passion and appreciation. But this night, he did his level best to remain as noiseless as possible, following Ran's example. This was a night made for silence, made for pure feeling of sensation without the distraction of any other senses. Indeed, Ran's heart-stopping eyes were tightly closed, and had been since Yohji had entered him.
Yohji himself would have done the same, pulled under by the onslaught of wave after wave of incredible heat and friction, and sheer bliss not just of what he was doing, but who he was doing it with. God, he was fucking Aya, and sweet Jesus but it felt good....oh shit he was so tight, and it was so hot! But he couldn't tear his eyes away from the unbelievable sight of Aya, the cold and heartless ice man, flushed and writhing beneath him.
The thin, bright red trickle of blood from the cut on Ran's lip ran down his chin, tiny droplets landing on his chest, smearing with his movements into criss-crossing red streaks, that might or might not convey a message in some forgotten, alien tongue. His back arched high, drawn tight by the silent tidal wave of pleasure. His head went back, mouth open in a noiseless gasp, his chin rising in the air to match the arc of his body. Yohji found himself fascinated by a single drop of crimson that hung, quivering, on the point of his jaw.
Like a drop of emotion wrung from a stone-clad heart, outward proof of the heat and fire that lurked, ever hidden, below the cold and frozen surface.
He does have red blood in his veins after all, was all Yohji could think. And even as he smacked himself mentally for the uncharitable uselessness of the thought, he was leaning down, drawn as if hypnotized by the sight of the droplet hanging, suspended, about to fall. Surging forward as he thrust again, he leant to meet the bright red drop as it fell, the silvery metallic taste of it bursting onto his tongue. Christ... He suppressed a groan as he licked his lips, still tasting red and silver. God, it was addicting. What the hell was wrong with him, to be so turned on by this, when more often than not, spilling blood was his job? He saw it on almost every mission, in a far from erotic light, so why did it affect him this way now?
He decided that he didn't care, and Ran's eyes flew open suddenly as he traced the path of crimson with his tongue, laving up the evidence of Ran's loss of control. A loss of control which was entirely due to him--he, Kudou Yohji, had made Aya lose control to the point where he drew blood to keep from screaming. Yohji shuddered, a thrill of pure and total victory sweeping through him as he met the wide-eyed gaze of his silent lover. Aya had responded to him. Aya wanted him. It was intoxicating, exhilarating, and it felt fucking good!
He increased his pace now, thrusting harder, riding the crest of emotion as the reality of it swept through him. Ran's eyes narrowed, understanding and not really liking the implications of that little interchange, but he, too, was getting dangerously close to climax. He braced himself, meeting Yohji's thrusts in a matching rhythm, the nearness of completion now impossible to ignore. Yohji smiled grimly to himself, careful not to let it show on his face.
He was never letting Ran forget this. This was going to happen again, he would make sure of it. Oh, he knew Ran well enough to know that Ran might regret it in the morning, regret allowing this intimacy, this release. Yohji was quite prepared to be ignored, snubbed, and generally frozen out. But he knew, now, exactly where he stood. Well, not exactly; but close enough. He knew that he had the ability to get to Ran, to make him react, to break through the ice he surrounded himself with, and he was damn well going to use it. The prickly swordsman could resist all he liked--he could even pretend he didn't want it. Yohji knew better, now. He knew Ran wanted him; well, he wanted him too, and he was going to have him. No ifs, ands or buts. No question.
He smiled to himself, thoroughly pleased with that idea. Ran was his. And with that thought, he was slightly startled when a strong hand curled around the back of his neck and pulled him down for a thorough kiss. A fierce, possessive kiss, with no small amount of force behind it. You belong to me. Payback time.
Yohji's rhythm slowed as Ran kissed him deeply, thrusting his tongue in to taste smoke and cinnamon, and the lingering tang of the blowjob Yohji had given him. It was an aggressive, dominating kiss, not just possessing but owning, reminding Yohji just why this man was the leader of Weiss...it sure wasn't for his people skills. No, it was that natural assurance, confidence, the simple quiet power of his intense nature that made them follow his orders.
And that very surety, that focused certainty backed by an inner fire, was not threatening, but comforting and heartening. It was, in fact, almost exhilarating, a feeling of being overwhelmed by roaring flame--wrapped in heat that could kill you, but it was somehow...safe. He decided he rather liked being owned by Ran. As if to emphasize this, Ran bit down on the lip he'd been sucking on, just hard enough to draw blood, giving Yohji a matching brand of passion and release. The spike of pain mingled with pleasure in a shocking wave of ecstasy...his last not-entirely-coherent thought was that he definitely must have something wrong with him for that to feel sooo fucking good. Whatever it was, he loved it. Then he stopped thinking altogether, all he could do was feel as everything faded out into white fire.
~*~
Ran hadn't really acted on conscious thought when he'd pulled Yohji down for that bruising kiss--the reaction had been pure instinct, borne of the annoyance he still carried from his partner's teasing manner, and the way he seemed to think he was in control of the situation. Ran was perfectly happy to let him take the lead in their lovemaking--that wasn't the issue, he didn't have a problem with Yohji being on top. It was the glint in Yohji's eye that spoke of his belief that he, and not Ran, was the one who had the upper hand in this...yes, okay, it was a relationship; whatever the nature of that relationship turned out to be.
His original intention had simply been to kiss the hell out of him in as aggressive a manner as possible, leaving a lasting impression of possession, and he suspected that he'd been nearly as surprised as Yohji when the kiss had ended as he bit down and tasted blood. He couldn't say that he was sorry, or that he wouldn't have done it on purpose if it had occurred to him beforehand.
It felt right, somehow, to leave his mark there the way Yohji had indirectly done to him. And he felt it was poetic justice, of a sort, that Yohji caught the already bloody wound in his teeth as he came, in the same way Ran had earlier.
Somewhere in the back of his mind he tucked away for later the oddly warm thought that he wasn't the only one who was going to be finding it painful to smile, for awhile. Most of his attention was transfixed by the electric image of ecstasy Yohji made as he grimaced, blood trickling down his chin, head thrown back as his body jerked reflexively with rippling shocks of release. Ran's body was suffused with heat, and he gritted his teeth against a moan at the sensation of hot seed spilling into his core. It was with a surge of immense satisfaction that he finally gave into his own climax, shuddering and letting out an explosive breath that was not--quite--a groan.
'Oh gods'....he went limp at last and it took him a moment to realize vaguely that Yohji had not, in fact, collapsed on top of him, or even beside him. He was instead leaning on unsteady arms, bending over Ran and watching him intently with a strange expression on his face. With something of an effort, he focused enough to frown slightly as he studied the odd look. What?
Yohji shook his head, blonde locks tumbling around his face and hiding his eyes. Ignoring the silent question, he leaned down and gently kissed Ran on the forehead. Then he shook his hair back, giving Ran a faint quirk of a smile before he pulled out and fell with sigh to lie beside him in comfortable silence. Ran blinked bemusedly. What was that all about?
He looked over to find the green eyes fixed on him with an expression of complete contentment. For once, he could not read what lay behind warm gaze, and he was not sure how he felt about that, or the almost sacred reverence of the kiss.
Maybe it didn't matter....his own languid feeling of content was sapping his curiosity, diffusing whatever else he might have felt, and for now, it was more than enough. This was more than enough.
Ran rolled onto his side, putting his arm around Yohji, and turned his head to nuzzle the crook of his neck, lapping gently at it with his tongue before pressing a soft kiss to the same spot. He stilled then, face hidden against his lover, just holding him and letting the unfamiliar, almost uncomfortable feelings and sensations wash through him. A gentle hand stroked his lower back, making soothing circles on the sensitive skin, and he murmured in appreciation. Yes, he could definitely get used to this.
A soft, nearly inaudible whisper touched the silence, not breaking it so much as temporarily nudging it aside. "Don't go."
Ran stiffened and froze, realizing that while normally he would have done just that, tonight, it hadn't even occurred to him. He had wanted to stay here, wrapped in warmth and silence and strong arms, listening to Yohji's breathing as he fell asleep. Sudden fear washed through him, as the chilling reality of just how much he wanted that took hold of him. This was so not good. Really, really not good. Not smart.
He was appalled suddenly by the magnitude of what he could lose, and part of him wanted to throw it away before it could be taken from him. Because fate had never yet been kind enough to let him keep the ones he...cared about. And it would break him to have it torn away, to have this precious...something, torn asunder along with his heart, again. Better to break his own heart than allow it to be broken. Better to be lonely than to let someone else have that kind of power to hurt him.
And yet another part of him was angry, at fate and at his own fear, and that was the strongest part. His arms tightened around his lover, and he buried his face in his hair, breathing in his scent. The anger spiked with a sudden flash of defiance, he decided that he didn't care what fate had in store. He was going to fight it with every last breath in his body. After a moment, he replied in the same barely audible tone, "Go to sleep, idiot. I'm not going anywhere."
Yohji sighed and relaxed against him, and Ran ached with a feeling that was very near to laughter or tears, but he was not sure which. And in any case, he did not give in to it, except to turn and press a kiss on the soft tangles of blonde hair, and wonder desperately what he had gotten himself into.
He thought he would lay awake for a very long time, listening to the silence, but it was only a few minutes before the peaceful lassitude again took hold of his senses, and he curled into the warmth and let it pull him under into, for once, dreamless sleep.
~*~
Yohji, on the other hand, did lay awake for several hours, staring into the darkness, and wondering if he knew, after all, what he was getting into. He thought he had, thought he knew what he was dealing with here, but maybe...maybe he was not so sure.
He had surprised himself with his plea for Ran to stay--he had not been planning to say that; and if he had thought of it sooner, he would have thought better of it. The sudden surge of emptiness and feeling of impending desolation which had prompted it, had taken him by surprise, and he had spoken before he could censor it.
But if his plea had startled him, Ran's response to it had shocked him beyond words. The silent tightening of Ran's embrace before his gruffly whispered answer was so totally opposite of any reaction he might have predicted, and for Ran to actually say that he wasn't going anywhere...he was stunned speechless. He would have said five minutes ago that it was rather out of character for Ran. Hell, he still thought it was. He was confused, and he wasn't certain if this unexpected behavior was a good thing or a bad thing.
Ran's even breathing next to him signaled the other man's descent into slumber, and he smiled faintly in the dark, a wry, wondering expression. This was sooo fucking weird. He dreamed of this, dreamed of even one night with his fire-haired teammate, but he had never once allowed himself to imagine that sex would not be the end of it. He had never thought that Ran would stay a minute longer than it took to clean himself off.
Which reminded him...he raised his head, and sighed as he realized that getting up and getting a washcloth or something of the sort would require Ran moving, and would probably wake him up. And since Yohji was fairly certain that Ran had gone from the haziness of afterglow straight into real unconsciousness, in spite of the whispered words, he had probably not been really aware of the implications of being where he was. He might have just not felt like moving.
Yohji would rather not get him really awake and find out that Ran would leave after all once he was shifted out of his comfortable position. No, he didn't want to risk that. Just for tonight he wanted to...to pretend that Ran did belong to him. To imagine that this was normal, that they were--lovers, and not just...whatever the hell they were now. That Ran staying all night in his bed, and...and maybe...maybe waking up next to him was a commonplace occurrence.
He laughed silently at himself before the thought was even fully formed, and shook his head. 'Like bloody hell,' he thought wearily. He wasn't about to let himself hope for something so impossible.
But no, he was not going to disturb Ran if he could help it. Even if it meant doing a half-assed job of wiping them both down with a corner of the damn sheet. He carefully disentangled himself just enough, leaned over and grabbed the farthest corner to do just that, grimacing a little at the sticky traces still left behind.
He dabbed at his lip, wincing slightly, and then had to contain his grin as he remembered that feeling, of being overwhelmed and possessed, the sharp flash of pain and ecstasy and most of all, the implicit statement that he belonged to Ran. The fierce swordsman had no idea how true that was, but Yohji intended to make sure that he found out. Of course, there was no guarantee that it would matter to Ran, but still.
He sighed, a little sadly, and very carefully touched Ran's lower lip with the sheet, although the gash there had already begun to scab over. There was nothing he could do about the dried red streaks of blood in various places, more of it on Ran than on himself. Ah well, it was better than nothing. And better that waking Ran.
He grinned to himself, just slightly, tucking one hand behind his head, the other still trapped under Ran's body as the other man lay curled against him. Hell yeah. No, it was going to be a good goddamn long time before he went to sleep...this might be his only chance to live his dream, and he was fucking well going to enjoy it.
2: Morning Stillness
Ran awoke in unfamiliar surroundings, and froze instantly. Where was he?
Someone stirred next to him, and he was aware of a warm body curled up against him. Kudou. Right. He was in Yohji's room. With a long sigh he allowed himself to relax, unsure if he was actually happy with the situation.
He'd been wanting to sleep with Yohji for a long time, but afterward...he wasn't looking forward to dealing with that. Nothing had changed between them, and everything had changed. Too many unknowns, too many new variables and possibilities, and yet they still had to work together, live together the same as always. He felt frustrated, facing now the reality created by last night's impulse, and suddenly not sure if it was worth it after all.
What had seemed so obvious, so right in the silence of night was now full of questions, hidden implications. Some things were much less clear in the light of morning. Maybe he could just leave....
He shifted gingerly, hoping he could just roll out quietly without disturbing his still-sleeping lover. The arm thrown loosely around him slipped away, and he held his breath--
And let it out suddenly in a soft grunt of surprise as he was pulled back into a tight embrace, the strong arm tucked firmly around his waist, Yohji's other hand tangled in his hair. A soft whimper came from the blonde man as he spooned up against Ran's side and buried his face in his shoulder. Still asleep, and definitely not letting go.
Ran sighed again, in resignation. 'Dammit.' Well, he hadn't exactly wanted to leave anyway...that was part of the problem. He turned his head to look at the sleeping man with a twinge of wry amusement. 'You're a big teddy bear, Kudou.' This was not strictly accurate, since he was well aware that Yohji could be perfectly ruthless when necessary. But in sleep his face was smooth and free of shadows, and he looked younger than his twenty-three years. Ran shifted slightly so that he could return the embrace, wrapping his arm around Yohji's shoulder.
The blonde hair tickled his face and he reached a lazy hand to smooth it back. The motion turned into a caress, fingers running through the soft blonde strands and twining around a handful at the base of Yohji's neck. His words from last night echoed in his mind. 'I'm not going anywhere.' Did he really mean that? Did he want to mean that?
He struggled with himself, knowing the truth, yet finding it incredibly hard to actually admit it, even in the privacy of his own mind.
The ache from last night had not lessened. He felt angry again, and he was aware that not all of it was aimless--he was angry with Yohji too, for slipping under his defenses, getting inside his walls when he wasn't looking, making a place for himself which might then be left cold and empty. Angry with himself, for wanting it, needing it so badly. It was a weakness, a liability, one that neither of them could really afford. He shouldn't allow himself to--but...
But there it was. He had allowed it, had encouraged and welcomed it, even. Well, if he was going to allow this weakness--and hadn't he already made that decision?--he was going to make damn sure it was worth it.
He found himself somewhat annoyed by the apparent hypocrisy of Yohji's request--it was Yohji who had a new girl every week to fuck and forget. And he had asked Ran not to go, as if Ran were the one most likely to walk away--hell no, he wasn't letting Yohji get off that easily. If he thought Ran was just going to let things go on as if nothing had happened, he had another think coming.
His arms tightened almost involuntarily around his lover. Whether Yohji knew it or not, he belonged to Ran now. He would find that out soon enough. No way he was letting that happen, letting this be just a one-night stand. Ran felt a sardonic smirk curl his lips, as he imagined the look on Yohji's face when he confronted him about it. But that could wait--he really had no idea what he would say anyway.
He would just have to...take one day, one thing at a time. Deal with that when the time came. For now, find a way to handle all these unfamiliar, awkward feelings, without compromising the mental balance and emotional armor he needed to do his job. Damn Kudoh.
He sighed as the tension drained out of him, leaving behind resignation and wry acceptance. He brushed a ghost of a kiss on the other man's forehead, and pressed his cheek against the blonde head. Ah hell...he could get used to this, alright. Besides...it felt nice, being held. Being loved.
Feeling somewhat more at peace with himself, now that his head had rationalized his heart's impulsive decision, he gave himself over to the mindless, luxurious content of watching Yohji's peaceful sleeping face, as he trailed his fingers through the tangled blonde mess of hair on his pillow. Everything else could just wait.
~*~
Yohji stirred sleepily, dragging himself, slowly, out of the depths of slumber. Warm. Safe.
He was sleeping with someone? Damn, he didn't usually actually fall asleep in bed with someone he brought home...what had he...? And this was no soft minx such as he usually went for--and he didn't bring the guys home--so why were the arms around him so strong, the body flat and hard, and....Oh. Ohhhh....right.
In disbelief, he forced his eyes open a crack, to confirm what his memory was telling him. Red hair brushed his eyes, stinging briefly and he hurriedly squeezed them tightly shut again. 'Oh my god....'
Feeling a wondering, incredulous sense of something that was too fragile to be called hope, his arms tightened around his....his lover. 'He's here....he's still here...oh gods...' He thanked every god he believed in, and several that he didn't. Ran was here, it hadn't been a dream--and he hadn't left as soon as he woke up, either.
Suddenly his throat felt tight, and he swallowed hard. He had hardly dared to imagine, to hope, before, but now...was it possible?
No, no, he wasn't even going to think about that...he was going to take things as they came, and not try to discern the reasons for them. Ran was here, and Yohji was holding him, and that was enough for now. More than he'd hoped for, really--god, the whole damn night was more than he'd ever dreamed of....he rubbed a hand in aimless circles on Ran's back, needing to touch, to just reassure himself that this was real. That he was touching Ran, and Ran was letting him. Even welcoming it...he heard a soft sigh of appreciation or content as he continued the soothing motion.
He felt like he was in shock, suspended in disbelief, and any minute now reality would come crashing back and Ran would freeze, and say something cold and cutting, and leave...he swallowed hard again. The blank fear of that idea scared him almost as much as the idea itself.
When did he let start letting himself need this so much? He'd been trying so hard for so long to accept that it was never going to be, and now all he could think was that it was, and oh god, if it had to end now, it was going to tear out his heart. He could think of few things more painful than getting this close to Ran and having him walk away again. Please, please don't leave...
For an instant, he allowed himself to entertain the heady idea of waking up in the same bed with Ran often, every day even...ahh, that would be heaven... He sighed heavily. Never going to happen in a million years, no matter what strange peace was holding Ran here this morning, it would never last.
"What's wrong?" He blinked, not registering for a moment that Ran had spoken, then replaying the quiet question in his mind. What did he mean, what's wrong?
"What do you mean? Nothing's wrong."
"Liar," Ran said, without heat. "You sound...lost."
Oh...the sigh. Yohji didn't know quite what to say to that. 'It's not me that's lost,' he thought, 'it's what I'm losing.'
"This is...nice," he said instead, not directly answering the question.
Ran was silent. Yohji raised his head to peer at his face, trying with some apprehension to read his expression. His lips were pressed together in a thin line, as if he were struggling with something. He closed his eyes, and finally in a whisper he answered, "Yes. It is."
Surprised, Yohji just stared for a moment. Was he...
Ran opened his eyes then, and they were troubled; Yohji was caught by the wild beauty of the expression and the unusual color. "Yohji, I..." Ran shook his head, looking away. "We don't have to be up until later," he offered with a sideways glance, and Yohji smiled, slightly, his eyes lighting with understanding, and maybe with relief.
He recognized the offer for what it was, an oblique response to his indirect statement, for all the things he could not say; it was about as much as he was likely to get from the redhead.
But then Ran surprised him again, meeting his eyes with a fierce, intent gaze, an look that seemed to be telling him something, though he wasn't sure what. He noticed suddenly that the easy communication of silence from last night seemed to have gone, the gods knew where, and wished it hadn't--a fleeting thought before Ran's mouth descended on his in a fiery, intense kiss. It was hard and demanding, passionate and hungry, fueled by all the intentions and emotions that Ran didn't know how to express, taking possession of his mouth and his soul in no uncertain terms. Mine. He understood that message, all right.
The kiss broke, though their faces were still mere inches apart, and Yohji was left wide-eyed and breathless, a little bit wondering. That fragile bit of almost-hope was suddenly flaring into almost-belief, almost joy. Ran was giving him that same intense stare, looking to see if he got the message, and then the expression eased, his body relaxing, and he looked to be smirking faintly. Yohji would have grinned, if the wound on his lip wasn't already smarting from the kiss.
"No, we don't," he agreed to Ran's earlier comment, and his voice, still husky, sounded very much as if someone had just kissed him senseless. He was fighting that grin again--man, this was going to be a bitch, not being able to smile much more than a little tilt of his lips. Although he was certain that if he could really smile, it would be a large, silly, relieved grin that would make him look rather foolish.
Almost-believing your impossible dreams had come true would do that to you. Maybe, just maybe...well, they would take it one day at a time. One step at a time. He laid his head on Ran's shoulder and pulled him closer, letting his eyes drift closed. Yeah, this was enough for now. More than enough.
He lay drowsing in the warmth and lethargic peace that had fallen after his last words, and felt the slight weight on the top of his head as Ran laid his cheek against it. They were definitely going to have to do this again, he thought hazily, but he was feeling too warm and peaceful to worry about that now.
The comforting silence fell again, unspoken words slipping into the background for another day, another time, and they lay simply holding each other in the morning stillness.
