JE: Hide and Seek (KAT-TUN, Akame, G)
Jul. 19th, 2008 10:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
soraciaAuthor: Kagemihari ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
flamesword
Pairing: Akame
Rating: G
Summary: Ficlet forspiritdream 's 'hide and seek' prompt, originally posted here on the Akame comment fic meme. First part of several, if I ever get around to writing the rest. I saw the prompt and thought, huh, this could be really cute. Or........and then I wrote this.
Jin's always been a fairly uncomplicated individual. He's transparent, every emotion easily read, no secrets. Kame never realised how much he had counted on that, depended on it, until lately when he'd started looking again. And come to realise that Jin isn't like that anymore.
Nowadays he's inexplicably hard to read, sometimes, often, and the worst part is Kame can't even tell if it's only because Jin's gotten better at hiding things or partly because they just... don't know each other anymore, and surprisingly. That actually hurts, even after everything.
He doesn't want to ask, doesn't want to know if Jin finds him just as much of a mystery, if they really are complete strangers and there is just nothing. Nothing left at all.
He still feels Jin's eyes on him now and then, studying, probing as if looking for secrets, and Kame wonders a bit wildly if he's ever had any at all when it comes to Jin, or if maybe they've never known each other at all, maybe Jin always knew that better than he did, or maybe. Maybe.
When Jin's looking at him he still feels like he can't breathe, and really he thought he got over that a long time ago, but then he didn't used to worry about what Jin was looking for or what he might find. Or not find.
He's not sure why he's worrying now, except. Things have changed and it's all so strange and he suddenly wants to be able to see again, just to know that underneath it all Jin is still Jin... he thought he'd gotten enough distance that this wouldn't hurt anymore, that Jin couldn't hurt him anymore, ever again.
But wondering if they know each other at all, or if they ever did... if how close they used to be was just an illusion and maybe it was always going to come to this, that hurts. That it's gone, that maybe it was never there...
Kame thinks that Jin looking at him like that is just making him crazy, really, because these are crazy thoughts and he's just looking back, helplessly wondering about things he thought he'd given up on and wondering. If maybe.
If they both look hard enough, maybe. Things will change again, and maybe for the better.
Kame isn't sure he even wants that anymore, if it's even worth it to try. But Jin doesn't stop looking, and he can't seem to help looking back, and he just really really hopes that if they manage to find what they're looking for - whatever that even is - if they find each other again. Somewhere behind and beneath all the masks and layers.
He really hopes it doesn't just mean it's going hurt even more the next time it all falls apart.
flamesword Pairing: Akame
Rating: G
Summary: Ficlet for
spiritdream 's 'hide and seek' prompt, originally posted here on the Akame comment fic meme. First part of several, if I ever get around to writing the rest. I saw the prompt and thought, huh, this could be really cute. Or........and then I wrote this. Jin's always been a fairly uncomplicated individual. He's transparent, every emotion easily read, no secrets. Kame never realised how much he had counted on that, depended on it, until lately when he'd started looking again. And come to realise that Jin isn't like that anymore.
Nowadays he's inexplicably hard to read, sometimes, often, and the worst part is Kame can't even tell if it's only because Jin's gotten better at hiding things or partly because they just... don't know each other anymore, and surprisingly. That actually hurts, even after everything.
He doesn't want to ask, doesn't want to know if Jin finds him just as much of a mystery, if they really are complete strangers and there is just nothing. Nothing left at all.
He still feels Jin's eyes on him now and then, studying, probing as if looking for secrets, and Kame wonders a bit wildly if he's ever had any at all when it comes to Jin, or if maybe they've never known each other at all, maybe Jin always knew that better than he did, or maybe. Maybe.
When Jin's looking at him he still feels like he can't breathe, and really he thought he got over that a long time ago, but then he didn't used to worry about what Jin was looking for or what he might find. Or not find.
He's not sure why he's worrying now, except. Things have changed and it's all so strange and he suddenly wants to be able to see again, just to know that underneath it all Jin is still Jin... he thought he'd gotten enough distance that this wouldn't hurt anymore, that Jin couldn't hurt him anymore, ever again.
But wondering if they know each other at all, or if they ever did... if how close they used to be was just an illusion and maybe it was always going to come to this, that hurts. That it's gone, that maybe it was never there...
Kame thinks that Jin looking at him like that is just making him crazy, really, because these are crazy thoughts and he's just looking back, helplessly wondering about things he thought he'd given up on and wondering. If maybe.
If they both look hard enough, maybe. Things will change again, and maybe for the better.
Kame isn't sure he even wants that anymore, if it's even worth it to try. But Jin doesn't stop looking, and he can't seem to help looking back, and he just really really hopes that if they manage to find what they're looking for - whatever that even is - if they find each other again. Somewhere behind and beneath all the masks and layers.
He really hopes it doesn't just mean it's going hurt even more the next time it all falls apart.
