Poetry: Elvish (w/Eng. trans.) - Brokenness

[soracia]

Kagi's notes: I have found that the best way to internalize a language is to use it, and with a lack around here of native Quenya speakers, that means writing. ^_~ So this is some free verse s.o.c. stuff that was originally written in Elvish. The English translations aren't half bad though, with a bit of tweaking. If there are still some odd or choppy bits, it's because the original wasn't English, and the translation's rhythm just doesn't quite work.

And yes, there are some reconstructed and poorly attested words in there, so if anyone wants my notes as to what I used and why, email me for the details...I'll get a liguistic analysis up here eventually. -_-


Brokenness

Atalantea, hátina,
talilyatse lingala--
Lingala quettalyanen.
Alantienye acca háya enyalien?
Caitala sinome,
i men yasse alantien--
Cenilyenye caitala sinome?
Etyalean, án varna!
Serce sire hóninyallo
ve níri
i vahtar feanya.
Hóninyo serce
sire i talamenna,
mírala, carne ar tinda.
Cenilyenye sinome?
Nánye harnaina,
rácina, narcina;
Ananta ortuvan ar mahtuvan.
Yuruvan,
yuruvan len.
Terhátina,
ananta tuluvanye.
Tuluvanye elyen,
envinyatarinya.


English translation:

Fallen, broken,
hanging at your feet--
Hanging on your word.
Have I fallen too far to recall?
Lying here,
where I have fallen--
Do you see me lying here?
I am crying out; save me!
Blood flows from my heart
like tears
which stain my soul.
My heart's blood
flows on the ground,
glittering, red and silver.
Do you see me here?
I am wounded,
broken, torn;
Yet I will rise and fight.
I will run,
I will run to you.
Broken in two,
yet I will come.
I will come to you,
my healer.


© Kagemihari, 5 aug 2003

Comments

[mnemonic-psych.livejournal.com]

Blood flows from my heart
like tears
which stain my soul.

I really like these lines

[soracia.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed writing this one, and those lines are one of my favorite parts too. I'm glad you liked it!